Today i text my mum and said "is it ok if i come visit you tomorrow, <my daughter> is asking for you." (she's 2 years old).
My mum replied "no. i cant see you. I'd like to see <daughter> though. Can you have someone bring her over wednesday?"
I am not in this situation, nor have I ever been, nor will I ever be.
That being said, I would tell my mother that she can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned after this kind of statement.